After The Barn Dance
by teresa4
Summary: When all is lost, there is all ways Love
1. Default Chapter

Chapter 1  
  
After the Barn Dance, Pa and I rode back on old Mose. Old Mose was an old mule, older than I was, and that was old by mule years. Pa and Ma were getting on in years when I came along. I think Ma said she was almost Forty and Pa was ten years older. So that made old Mose at least five years more than I was. Pa bought the mule just before he came here and met Ma. And now as I was just about to turn seventeen, he was just getting to the time in his life that you turn old mules out to pasture.  
  
Pa was the best fiddle player in these parts and that was why we were at the Barn Dance. I just go along because I don't like to stay alone out at our farmhouse by myself. Now with Ma gone, Pa didn't like to go by himself. The night started out as any other night in Mt Oswego City. The sky did have a funny look to it though as we rode back. It seemed almost orange.  
  
"Pa?"  
  
"Yes Millie"  
  
"Could that mean that something close to our house might be on fire?"  
  
"Could be Millie"  
  
"We need a new horse, old Mose is so slow we might make it home by tomorrow morning."  
  
"Now Millie girl, you know we can't afford a new horse"  
  
"I'm scared, if it is our house, we have nothing left and all of Ma's things will be gone."  
  
As we got closer to the farm we could tell it was the house and it was on fire. The house had been in Ma's family for along time, Pa told me he met Ma at the well when she went to get water for the chickens. And he and his brother stopped there to get them a drink of water before they moved on. He said she was the prettiest girl he ever saw. She was the local schoolteacher and knew every one in our town. But Pa was someone she didn't know. She knew she was going to and real soon too.  
  
By the time we reached home the house was so far gone that we just sat down on the ground and cried. There wasn't anything we could do, we just watched.  
  
Ma had told me that she and Pa got married in the old house and that was when her Pa gave them the farm. She said it was going to be mine when I got married. Now it didn't even stand anymore.  
  
We slept in the barn last night, if you want to call it a barn. It has a roof and some sort of walls, but that was just about it. Oh maybe a few box type rooms you might call stalls. I used old Mose's blanket and Pa used a pile of straw to keep him warm. Now I was going to have to figure out how to cook eggs without a frying pan.  
  
" Look for a flat rock Millie, it will serve as a skillet for now. I have to milk old Bess and let the calf out so it can graze in the pasture. You need to wash up while I'm gone, I'll be back in a few minutes."  
  
Pa said I had black soot all over me, well so did he. In the barn the hay smelled of smoke and the feed for the animals didn't look any better. I put corn out for the chickens and grain for old Mose, but he turned his nose up at it and walked down to where Pa was. After that I took the bucket of water and tried to clean up as best I could. The water was cold and I didn't have a towel to dry with. When I had my over coat on (while my clothes dried), I heard a shot. I ran out to see what it was and saw Pa lying on the ground next to the well. He had been killed. All I could think at that time was that I was really alone. I don't know how long I stayed there, but my mind was kind of numb. I was just remembering the stories Ma had told me when I was little.  
  
She would tell me about the little Turtledove Pa found and gave her for Easter one year. And how it cooed every morning at sun up. And how he gave old Mose to her to hitch up to the wagon so she didn't have to walk the school. That was before I came along to make it impossible for Ma to work anymore.  
  
She and Pa only knew each other for two weeks. But she said it was enough for them to know that they wanted to get married. Pa was a fiddle player from a region of the hills to the south for about fifty miles. He and his brother had enough of the hard mountain life and went looking for better people that had not heard his music. He said the folks at home were no good anymore, that they ran moonshine and he and his brother didn't like that kind of life.  
  
But as soon as Pa saw Ma he wanted her for himself and his brother could go on to where ever he wanted. So they got married. And then Pa told her that he was going to be fortyfive in about a month so he just wanted Ma to know that she got herself an old man for a husband. Ma just laughed, which made Pa look at her in his funny way, she said.  
  
"Pa has a funny way he looks at me when he can't figure out what I'm thinking or laughing about, and that look just makes me fall in love with him all over again."  
  
"Ma? What look is that " I asked her.  
  
" Just you never mind Millie. It's for me only and until you get married and your husband gives you that look, I'm not going to explain it to you"  
  
Ma never mentioned it again, and I didn't either. We had us some good talks and she taught me all the things a wife was suppose to know. Like washing and hanging the white clothes out in the sunshine so the sun could bleach them, and making sure that you put Lavender in the drawers so the sheets and towels smelled real good.  
  
We never got tired of talking or laughing. Ma had a real good sense of humor. She would sing and tell stories. Ma was really beautiful. And I've been told by anyone with eyes that I looked a lot like her. We both had very black hair and the bluest eyes with a tint of Lavender. And even though Ma was Forty when I was born, she didn't look a day over twenty.  
  
Pa was tall and thin. Ma was short and just plump enough to be soft. I took after both. I was not really tall but I could look straight over Ma's head. And even though I was not thin I wasn't plump either. I could ride a horse as good as Pa. But Ma was a better shot than the two of us.  
  
Ma once told me that she would shoot the buzzards out of the sky when Pa couldn't even see them. That made me laugh for three straight days. Pa said, "That's enough Millie girl. Ma can't ride a horse without bouncing off the back, and she starts on the top of the saddle." I laughed quietly after that. Always seeing the picture of both of them in my minds eye.  
  
As I sat there by Pa's body wondering what to do next I heard a horse coming closer. And I looked up slowly.  
  
" Are you alright?" The most handsome man I had ever seen asked it.  
  
" I asked you a question. Are you alright? Ma'am is everything alright with you?"  
  
I couldn't say anything. My mind was numb and I couldn't move my legs. I think I must have stayed by Pa all night, because the calf was crying and Bess the cow was bawling. She had never gotten milked. Pa was dark and stiff and cold. He was so cold that I kept thinking that some one should get him a blanket to keep him warm.  
  
" Please get something to put on my Pa? He's so cold." I said.  
  
"I think he might need a little something else. Why don't you go to the barn and get yourself dressed." He said to me.  
  
"But I., ah I., don't know what happened. I think I heard a shot, an., and then." I couldn't go on. All I could do was cry.  
  
The man got off his horse and came to me, then he helped me get up and started for the barn. He looked for my clothes and found them by the stall I had slept in the night before. Was that really yesterday morning that Pa told me to go look for a flat rock?  
  
"Let's see, You go into the stall and get dressed and I'm going to find a shovel. And then maybe you can fix us some breakfast." I could tell he was trying to distract me while he dug a grave for Pa. I hope he finds Ma's grave, because they wanted to be buried next to each other.  
  
When I finished getting my clothes on, I looked for a flat rock just like Pa told me and started getting the fire going. After the rock was hot I took the eggs from the small pile of hay I had laid them in yesterday. Then I remembered that Pa had hung a ham in the dugout cellar where Ma kept the food that needed cooler temperatures. Then after the ham and eggs were done I went to look for the stranger. I found him standing by Ma's grave. He had a look that said he understood how Pa felt when she died.  
  
"Breakfast is ready."  
  
"Be right there. She's not been gone very long has she?"  
  
"About a month."  
  
"He missed her." It was it said from the heart. Almost like he knew how Pa felt after we put her to rest. When all the towns people walked by and said how sorry they were. Pa just looked like he could have laid down there in the grave with her. And not care about anything else, even me.  
  
I took a good look at the man beside me and then the thought came to me. Who is he? Is he the one that shot Pa? The stranger looked back at me and he must of read my mind, because he took my arm and asked me if I had seen anyone around here at the time of the shot. For some reason I couldn't find it in me to be afraid of this handsome stranger. He made me feel like I would be safe with him. I felt strange feelings in side of me that could not be explained by his hand on my arm. But I answered him truthfully.  
  
"No I only heard it and then saw Pa laying by the well. I didn't even hear a horse or wagon or anything else. What does that mean?" I looked at him and he just hung his head and walked away from me. I followed him to the barn. He started to saddle old Mose.  
  
"Get up here, we have to leave this place now." That was all he said to me and we traveled for over an hour.  
  
We came to apart of this country that I had never been to. It was beautiful, and it wasn't as dry as it was closer to home. I think it was more downhill than I knew, but it didn't seem like we went down. The only thing I could tell was the stream we were crossing was wider and running faster. I also was getting tired and thirsty. Old Mose was slowing and falling asleep as we road.  
  
"Are we stopping for water soon?" I asked.  
  
"Why, aren't you a tuff mountain girl?" He asked me.  
  
"What gave you that idea?"  
  
"You look like you could skin a coon and cook it up for supper."  
  
"I've never been close to a coon, much less taste one. What do they taste like?"  
  
"I." He started to say something , but I didn't give him a chance to tell me if he had. The thought gave me a sick feeling.  
  
"And why are you talking to me now after all this time? It's almost Three in the afternoon. And the sun is at it's hottest."  
  
"I figure we are far enough away from your place that whoever shot your Pa won't find out that you are with me."  
  
"And who are you?" I finally asked him.  
  
"My name is Sam. Samuel Raymond Williams. I'm from Redland in the valley, and my wife was killed by the same person or persons that shot your Pa. I've been tracking them for two years and this is the closest I have gotten to them. I'm hoping they don't know that."  
  
"I'm sorry about your wife she couldn't have been very old, because you don't look very old." He looked about my age. His hands looked worn and he had a tiredness about his eyes, along with what looked like laugh wrinkles.  
  
"I'm almost thirty. And how old are you, might I ask? He asked, with a twinkle in his tired eyes.  
  
" I'll be seventeen on Tuesday. But I'm not sure I want to be anything anymore." I said with a heavy sigh. But I was thinking he gave me chills like someone tickled me on my neck. Like a shiver went down my spine, only I wasn't afraid of him. Just the opposite. I felt safe. Here I was, alone with a man I didn't know and he was taking me some where I hadn't heard of or been to. But here we were.  
  
We soon got of our rides and gave them grain and let them drink from the stream. Then we ate some cold ham and a type of biscuit or something like it. We didn't light a fire because Sam said it could bring the killer or killers too close to us. So we just wrapped up in blankets and bedded down for the night.  
  
The first thing that woke me in the morning was the bird's singing in the treetops. Then I noticed that it was still dark. I've heard birds singing before, but this had a sweet melody to it. Maybe it was because I was safe and warm. Or maybe it was because of Sam.  
  
"Good morning sleepy head." He said, as he must have seen I was awake.  
  
"Is it good?" I asked as I climbed out of my blanket.  
  
"Well let's hope so. The weather is promising and the birds are is a good mood..And let us also hope that the bad guy is ahead of us and not behind."  
  
"Where are we headed anyway? Are we going to your home?" I needed to ask.  
  
He looked at me in a funny way, and my heart gave a lurch. It had never done that before. Then I thought of Ma telling me about Pa's look, and that when I had a husband that would give me a look, I would understand.  
  
Well , Sam was not my husband, but he gave me that look all the same. Now all I needed was for him to turn from me like he did last night. Which he did in short order, because he seemed to be gruff and grumpy a lot of the time. I thought that it was because I was so slow about leaving home and didn't want to leave Ma and Pa's grave so soon. I felt I needed to put flowers on them and maybe say a prayer. Only the look he gave me now made me shiver.  
  
"Get yourself up and get something to eat and let's get out of here now." He said gruffly.  
  
I didn't say anything I just got ready and climbed on old Mose. After about an hour Sam asked me a question, but to spite him I took a long time to answer. He seamed so mad and gruff that it made me want to cry. I didn't get to mourn over Pa, and Ma hadn't been gone that long either. My heart seemed sore or broken, and I had just enough of a stubbornness in me that I wanted to be mad too.  
  
" I asked you what your name is, can't you hear?"  
  
"My name is Mildred Margaret Tanner. I was born on July twentieth, and I'll be seventeen on Tuesday. If memory serves me I think I told you that already. About my age I mean." He seemed so smug and I wanted to be a brat to him. For some reason I felt he didn't want me along and I wanted to lash out at him and make him feel the hurt I was feeling.  
  
"That's a mouthful."  
  
"Millie for short." I almost yelled back to him.  
  
We rode along in silence for a long time. I think it was four or five days, and so I just looked at the countryside and wished I were back home safe and sound in the bosom of my family. The quietness of the out doors was peaceful to my soul though. And I enjoyed the sounds of nature.  
  
Soon we started down to a valley, and I noticed a town large enough to have a school. Also a church and a bank or two. I even saw a house that looked kind of like the one Marty Sullivan told Pa about at the barn dance the last time we were out at his ranch for the barn raising (They didn't know I was listening to them talking). He said it had red painted walls inside and out. With women standing on the walkway in the upper floor balcony outside and they were in their undergarments. Well I don't know what the inside looked like, but the women were outside in their undergarments all right.  
  
"Hey, Where you get her, is she one of them mail order brides or something?" said a crude looking man in a greasy coat, with a long dirty beard and long stringy hair.  
  
"No, she is not." Sam said back. He had a disgusted look on his face. So I guessed this man was not a friend.  
  
"Where'd she come from? You been gone along time. Is she for anybody?"  
  
We just rode on by and Sam didn't give him an answer. I wasn't too sure where we were going, but I knew it definitely wasn't with this guy. I was relieved of that. He had a bad odor about him also.  
  
"We are headed for a ranch on the other side of town. I wouldn't go this way only it is shorter than going all the way around."  
  
I was looking forward to a hot bath and maybe a warm bed to sleep in. My eyes were feeling gravelly and tired, and I'm sure I probably smelled almost as bad as that man did.  
  
"Are we very far from this ranch of yours?' I ventured to ask. I was kind of afraid to say anything, with the way he was always so abrupt.  
  
"It's not my ranch. A friend of mine lives there. And I'm sure he and his wife will put us up for a night or two."  
  
We were halfway through town when Sam had us stop at the mercantile store. He said he needed something and he would be right out. It seemed he was inside for a long time, but in actuality he wasn't more than a few minutes. When he came out he had a package under his arm. I couldn't tell what it could be so I didn't try. Then he said we were going on down the street to another type of store. I wasn't sure what it was, but when he came out of this one he had another package under his arm.  
  
We traveled on through the town then, and it seemed we rode for a long way before we got to the outskirts. The whole time we were riding, I was thinking that I was too tired to go on. It seemed Sam had other ideas though. We stopped a short distance from the church at a cemetery. He told me to get down for awhile and sit on my coat for a change, so I jumped off old Mose and sat down. In just a little while I was rudely awakened by someone shaking me hard. It seemed that I had just sat down. I thought it was Pa trying to get me up to milk Bess. But slowly my mind caught what was happening. I was with Sam, Pa was gone and it was dark.  
  
"It's time to move on. We are going to be late getting to Cole and Phoebe's ranch. I'll just go straight to the barn and we can bed down there. In the morning we can go on to the house."  
  
I couldn't say anything. I was too tired. So we rode on for it seemed like miles and miles. Then it was time to get off and walk the animals to a very large barn. I've seen barns before, but this was as big as two or three barns put together.  
  
Sam led us through the door and he took me to a room with saddles and harnesses and all sort of tack. I kind of liked the smell. He sat me on a cot and said he'd be right back. I don't remember anything after that. I must of fallen over onto the cot and gone right to sleep, because I woke up with the sound of men talking and horses making all kinds of noises, shuffling their feet and snorting. I jumped up and walked out of the room, and found Sam and a man that looked like he could be his brother.  
  
"Good, your awake. I didn't want to wake you, you were sleeping so peacefully and needed the rest. Oh this is Cole, my brother. His wife is in the house fixing breakfast for you. Her name is Phoebe." Sam said this with a strange tone to his voice. It made me wonder if I had slept too long. I was uncomfortable so I turned and almost ran to the house.  
  
The house was a very large home with a porch wrapped all the way around it. It was painted white with red trim; I had never seen a house so big or so pretty in my life. The smell coming from inside was something I thought I had forgotten, then my stomach made a horrible noise that anyone could hear for miles, So I walked to the back door and looked through the screen. A woman standing with her back to me was singing a song Pa used to play on his fiddle when I was little. I slowly opened the door and she turned to me. She was very pretty, She had her hair up on top of her head in a fancy twist. Her eyes were the same color as her hair, they were the color of the Chestnut Bay I saw in the stall next to the room I slept in last night. She was beautiful and young , maybe real close to my age. I was guessing about Eighteen or Nineteen.  
  
"Oh, hello Millie. I'm Phoebe, Cole's wife." She was also about ready to have a baby.  
  
"Hello" Was all I could say.  
  
"Come on in and sit here at the table. Your breakfast is ready. Now come, sit down or it'll get cold. I know you haven't eaten hot nourishing food for some time. Sam told us this morning that you were alone when he found you. I'm sorry about your family. If there is anything we can do for you just let us know. " She sat across from me at the table and sipped a cup of tea. Her dress was a light green that made her complexion glow, or was it because she was going to have a baby?  
  
"Thank you very much for your kindness" I said.  
  
"Now don't worry about anything while you're here with us, we look at you like family." She sat looking out the back door screen. "Are you all alone in this world or do you have family any where else?"  
  
"No, both of my parents are gone and I have no one else."  
  
"Well, we will be here when you fell like talking. Because in cases like this it's good to get it out before it eats at you. My family was killed also and I'm alone too. But Cole and I have each other and we do a lot of talking. It's what I do best. Besides getting pregnant. This is out Third try. Our first two were premature and so I'm to take care and not stress. That's why I talk a lot."  
  
"When is your baby due?" I asked her.  
  
"In about a month, give or take a day or two. Have you been married or have some one special?" She asked me. How could I tell her that her brother-in- law was not availible,as far as I could tell.  
  
"No, there is no body. I am just going to be seventeen ..Oh, today is my birthday,It's been such a nightmare few days that I almost forgot."  
  
"Why don't you finish your breakfast and then I'll take you upstairs, so you can clean yourself up?"  
  
"Thank you but I have nothing to wear. All my things burnt up in the house and I'm sure these things I have on are the most smelly things around."  
  
"Come this way, We'll get you one of my dresses. I'm sure you will get better use out of it now. I won't be able to wear it for a few more weeks. And besides, I like having another women around. All these men do, is nothing but talk of horses and foaling and such."  
  
"You have a beautiful home."  
  
"Thank you, but it's just a house. When the baby comes then it will be a home."  
  
She left me in a large room with a very large brass bathtub full of nice warm water. With and lavender smelling soap on the table beside it. So I took my time and scrubbed from head to toes. When I was finished I stepped out and looked around and found a large towel to dry with. Everything seemed so large here. The barn, the house, the porch and the tub, now the towel. Then I walked into the adjoining room. It looked to be the master room, or what I remembered of what Ma said about the one she saw when she went to the Big city for her teacher training. Her great-great Aunt Tillie's home was real big and had lots of rooms in it too.  
  
On the bed there was a lavender dress and undergarments. There were shoes on the floor and white hose next to the dress. I held up the dress and twirled around. I had never seen anything so lovely in my life. I put every thing on and was buttoning up the shoes when Phoebe came into the room.  
  
"Oh good! You look great. That isn't my dress, It's yours. Sam picked it up on your way here, he said."  
  
"Sam? But why?"  
  
"For your birthday" He said from the doorway. I couldn't think of anything to say, and I knew my face was red because I felt hot all over.  
  
"Thank you very much." Was all I could get out before the tears came. And they didn't want to stop. Phoebe told Sam to leave and go help Cole with whatever he was doing. So Sam went downstairs.  
  
"Here sit down and I'll fix your hair and face, now don't cry because I will too. And that's a bad thing at this time for me, She chattered on while she did my hair in a twist like hers, and put a light powder over my face and a very light pink lip rouge to finish the job. When I turned around to look at myself in the dressing table mirror I didn't know who I was looking at.  
  
"Oh my! Is this really me?"  
  
"Yes, It's really you, now let us go downstairs and see what the men are doing. Shall we?"  
  
As the women came down the stairs, Sam stood at the bottom step and stared up at Millie coming down. He felt like his knees were going to give out, and he might fall to the floor. Millie was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He loved Sarah, loved her deeply. But, Millie took his breath away. He turned on his heels and strode out the front door. He had to hide the feelings that were coursing through him. He had never felt this way and he didn't know how to handle it. He walked to the stable and saddled his horse and rode away. Where he was going? He didn't have a clue.  
  
"Well now, I have two beautiful women to wait on me at dinner tonight." Cole said a little too loudly.  
  
"Not if you think you are going to get dinner my love" Phoebe whispered back to Cole. I could tell they were trying to make the situation easier for me.  
  
"Phoebe my love, you are the picture of loveliness. And Millie my dear you are very beautiful too"  
  
"Thank you Cole, you don't have to try to make me feel like I really am. I know I have ordinary looks and just passable features to get by. That's what the boys back home said and I can see for myself."  
  
"Millie, they were just boys. I'm a man with an eye for beauty. And I'm telling you, you are beautiful."  
  
"He's right Millie, you are beautiful. That dress makes the lavender in your eyes shine. And your hair is so long and shinny, that any way you wore it would look great." Phoebe said.  
  
I felt a little better, but I couldn't make the hurt that I felt at Sam's abrupt leaving go away. So we had dinner and chatted about the up coming birth. I could tell that Cole and Phoebe really loved each other. They couldn't seem to be able to keep their hands off of one another.  
  
When we were having coffee in the Salon, Sam came back and sat on one of the large overstuffed chairs that were sitting by the fireplace hearth. He didn't say anything to me, but I could feel him snatching glimpses when I wasn't looking at him.  
  
Then Phoebe said she was ready for bed and I was to have the guestroom down the hall from her and Cole's room. I followed her upstairs and to the room. The room was large; Phoebe walked to the window and opened it so the light evening breeze could come through. I could smell roses of all different varieties and knew that I had smelled them last night when we came by in the dark. As I stood just inside the door, the window opened out to the landing over the front porch, with a wicker chair for sitting on nights like this. The bed was against the wall opposite the wardrobe and a dressing table. It was decorated in creams and tans with a hooked rug that looked very expensive.  
  
"This room is larger than our farm house was." I couldn't help commenting.  
  
"Oh I grew up here and am so used to everything that I forget that other people didn't have it as well as I did. But it's just home and I love it. My folks left everything to me when they died and that was after Cole and I was married. So it's really my mother's taste in furnishings. You just enjoy this, it's so nice to have you here. We'll talk tomorrow, good night Millie sleep well."  
  
"Thank you so very much Phoebe, I'm eternally grateful." Phoebe turned to me and kissed my cheek.  
  
"Thank you for being here, I really need another woman here with me right now." She said with tears in her eyes. Then she went on to her room.  
  
I undressed and hung my new clothes in the wardrobe. I had never been in a house or any other place as nice and luxurious as this home was. I hoped I would get to stay for awhile. My home was gone and I couldn't dwell on what was lost, I had to go on. I would miss Pa and Ma though, that nobody could take that away. Not even the man who killed Pa the way he did.  
  
I put the dressing robe on that phoebe gave me and went to the window. I stood with my eyes closed and listened to the night sounds. I could hear small bats a Killdeer, and a pack of coyotes far off in the distance. I also heard other sounds, sounds that drew me to the landing and the wicker chair where I curled up to listed to what Cole and Sam were saying.  
  
"Sam, that wasn't very nice of you to leave like that and not say anything to any of us, and right at dinner too." Cole scolded.  
  
"I just couldn't face her tonight. Not the way she looked." Sam said and then told Cole, "Shut up and mind your own business."  
  
"What's eating you. You've never talked to me that way before? It's been over two years since Sarah was killed and you act like she was such a saint. Well let me tell you little brother, she wasn't."  
  
"I said shut up"  
  
"Sam, She was a lovely women, and I'm real sorry she was taken. But you are alive and so is Millie. I think you need someone like her."  
  
"Cole, what would you do if something happened to Phoebe and you were alone again? I'll tell you what you'd do. You would work yourself until you could go to sleep every night and you would wallow in self-pity. Then maybe you would drown your sorrows in booze for a month or two. Have I come close?"  
  
"Yes you're probably right. You seem to know me pretty well." Cole and Sam were quiet for a moment, then Cole said. "But that doesn't give you the right to bring her here and just leave and not say a word to anyone."  
  
"Your right, I'm sorry. I guess I'm just letting my head rule my emotions or is it my heart rule my head?".  
  
"Who really knows? Let's go to bed. Tomorrow is another day" Cole said as they walked back in the house.  
  
I sat there for awhile longer. I thought, maybe Sam didn't like me, now I knew for sure. But what I couldn't figure out was why did he bring me with him? He could have left me there and the town's people would have found me and take care of me. So why? Well, like Cole said tomorrow is another day.  
  
I got into bed, and it was heaven. I had never slept in a bed that soft before. I sunk into the mattress.  
  
In Cole and Phoebe's bedroom it wasn't as quiet as you would think. "Alright Cole where was he all the time we were having dinner? Did he give you a clue to what he's up to or why he's treating her this way?"  
  
"Just a minute let me say something. He is trying to justify his feelings for her. He still thinks of Sarah and he's confused, so he needs to sort out what he is feeling for his dead wife and this young woman who has brought something back to his numb body. So to speak."  
  
"You mean to say he's told you he is having feelings for Millie? I thought he just brought her here to dump her off and leave again. And let us take care of her. I don't mind because I could use the help, But with not a word? He just turned and left even after telling her he bought the dress for her birthday."  
  
"Well that's my baby brother for you. Bring home a stray and let me take care of it. He has a good heart, but sometimes it goes astray."  
  
"If what you say is true and he is thinking of his feelings, do you think he might fall in love with Millie? Do you think they will have the passion we have? When I'm not as huge as a horse."  
  
"The passion will have to wait until the baby though." Was all Cole said and wrapped Phoebe in his arms and went right to sleep.  
  
Phoebe couldn't go to sleep as easily as Cole could. It amazed her how fast he could drift off and not have nightmares. She suffered with the same awful dream. That this baby will not survive it's birth either. And on top of that her back hurt her and she couldn't get comfortable. Slowly as usual she drifted to sleep. With the rhythm of Coles' heartbeat steady and slow next to her as she lay there with her head on his muscled tan wide chest. Closing her eyes, she had a secret smile on her lips. Passion couldn't come soon enough. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter2  
  
I didn't know I had gone to sleep until Phoebe knocked on the door at seven thirty the next morning. The sun was up and the room was bright. And, Phoebe didn't look too well this morning. She had dark circles under her eyes and as she came closer, I could see she had little sweat beads on her upper lip.  
  
"Are you awake? I'm sorry but I need some help today. Would you mind terribly?"  
  
"No, not at all. It would be my pleasure. You have done so much for me that I would love to give you all the help I can." I jumped up out of bed and dressed in my old clothes. It looked as if Phoebe had washed them, and they even smelled of Lilacs.  
  
" I need someone to go up in the attic and get down the baby things that are stored up there." She said.  
  
"Well I'm dressed for the occasion." My overalls were a pair that Pa had ripped out and Ma and I repaired to fit me. I brushed and braided my hair then I put on my boots.  
  
Phoebe stood there at the door for a second longer.  
  
"Good. I'll have your breakfast in a minute. Come on down when you're ready" Phoebe turned to go and stopped. She grabbed the doorframe to steady herself. Then she looked back at me and said. "It won't be too soon either."  
  
"Are you alright? Do I need to go get a midwife or someone? What am I to do?" I know I sounded panicked but I couldn't think at that moment.  
  
"Millie, everything is going to be alright, You just do as I ask and we can get through this just fine."  
  
She talked with such confidence that I really almost forgot for the moment that I was scared. I ate my breakfast and she sipped tea as we sat at the table in the kitchen. And I needed to ask her a question. The one that was burning a whole in my mind.  
  
"Phoebe, is Sam sorry he brought me here? I didn't ask him to, he just took it upon himself. I was real scarred that morning and needed someone to help me and he was there."  
  
"Millie, Sam is hurt real bad. Sarah was to have had a baby when she was killed. He just can't get over that he should have been there that day, instead he was here helping Cole foal the little chestnut stallion."  
  
"How long has it been?" I needed to know, even if I was afraid of the answer. Something in me had to ask. My heart was doing funny flip-flops and I didn't know why.  
  
"It'll be two years and two months on Friday. We were hoping that he would come out of it and find someone soon, but as it seems he has other ideas."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Like going after the guys who killed her and your Father."  
  
"How did he know that it was the same guy who shot them both, and why?"  
  
"That's something Sam is going to have to tell you, I know no details. And don't want to either, not right now."  
  
"Are you sure you are alright?" I asked again.  
  
" Yes. It's the pains, they come every twenty minutes and last just a second. Long enough to make me uncomfortable."  
  
"Does that mean your time is close?"  
  
"No, It means that I have at least a week left. This is the baby turning and it hurts a little."  
  
After breakfast I followed her to the attic and climbed the latter. She wanted the crib and the cradle and a dresser. The dresser was a little difficult, but with Phoebe's help I got it down too. When we were through we took them all down to the back porch and looked them over. Phoebe announced that they could use a coat of paint. White was what she liked. So we started to sand them and smooth them for the paint. That was about the time Cole and Sam came in for lunch.  
  
"What do we have here?" Cole asked.  
  
"We are getting ready for a baby." Phoebe replied, batting her eyelashes.  
  
"Are you sure you are getting ready or is it Millie? Looks like you have a slave there, and you with your feet up and drinking tea." He couldn't help teasing her. He could always get a rise out of her, and he loved her for it.  
  
"Cole, I have not got a slave and you know it. I usually do everything myself, and besides every body is telling me to take it easy." Phoebe almost started to cry and Cole could see he really had upset her.  
  
"Darling I'm sorry. You were right, Millie isn't your slave. Thank you Millie for helping Phoebe, she needs it."  
  
"Oh, it's been fun. I've never been around babies before and I'm looking forward to helping. I mostly helped Pa repair things around the farm and Ma cook and bake, but babies were very few and far between."  
  
"Good then I can get the fences finished before the wee one comes." Cole said with relief in his voice.  
  
"Will you help me to our bedroom Cole? I need to lie down for a bit." Phoebe looked tired indeed. So Cole helped her upstairs.  
  
I continued working on the cradle. A few minutes after they left, Sam walked up to the porch with an arm full of firewood. He tried to reach for the door and dropped half of the wood. I started to laugh and went to help pick up some of it. When he looked at me he had a frown on his face.  
  
"I'm sorry, can I give you a hand?" I asked.  
  
"Why, does it look like I'm helpless?" He shot back at me.  
  
"No, But it is customary to give a helping hand to someone in need."  
  
"Oh, I thought you might be ridiculing me. The way you look at me, I thought you may be thinking I'm incompetent."  
  
"Why would I do that? I'm not that kind of person. You on the other hand are always saying things like you know me and know what I'm thinking. Let me tell you something right now. You don't know me, and you don't know what I'm thinking. Oh what's the use. I'm out of here." I had to leave because the tears were coming and I knew that they would not stop.  
  
"Go ahead then. I'm tired of this too. Sam yelled to my back as I headed for the barn.  
  
There I found old Mose. He had his own stall and the straw was clean and he also had grain and not hay. I reached for him and he came to me. Then as I stood there he pushed at my shoulder as if he missed me and was saying, "Where have you been?"  
  
Then Sam came into the barn. I could tell he was looking for me. I wanted to hide from him, but I stood right where I was.  
  
"I'm awfully sorry Millie. I'm not very good with people, and you hit me with wanting to help me and I'm not use to that."  
  
I didn't say anything, but just stood there and cried. I could tell he was uncomfortable and I didn't care. He hurt me too many times in the short time I've known him. Everything that was normal to me was gone and I felt alone. Old Mose was my only link to home I had left. And he seemed too happy where he was. That hurt too.  
  
"Millie? Are you all right? I said I'm sorry, will you please talk to me?" I could tell he was sincere.  
  
"What do you want me to say? Haven't I said enough?" The hurt was still in my voice.  
  
"I'm so use to being alone that it took me by supprise. And. you looked beautiful last night."  
  
I couldn't say anything then. I just stood there and looked at him. He started to walk over to me, he started to reach for me. His hand was at my face when Cole came in and stopped it.  
  
"Sam, would you go down to the White ranch and see if Mrs. White will come back with you?"  
  
"Is everything all right?" I asked him.  
  
"I think Phoebe will rest better if Mrs. White came by and saw her for a few minutes."  
  
"Sure Cole I'll go now." Sam said as he started to saddle a Palomino. "Or should I take the buggy?"  
  
"I think Mrs. White would appreciate the buggy Sam." Cole replied.  
  
Cole and I turned to the house and went to check on Phoebe. She seemed fine, but the beads of sweat were there again. And that bothered me.  
  
We talked about nothing imparticular and everything, just to keep Phoebe busy. She seemed uncomfortable and in slight pain, but holding up well for our sake. Cole was especially attentive to her. It showed how much he really loved her. It made me think that I would like to have a love like that someday.  
  
It was maybe an hour and a half before Sam returned with Mrs. White. She was a kind lady. All business and very precise with her speech. Her hair was just now turning grey. She had light blue eyes, they were kind eyes.  
  
"Now, shall we take a look at you my dear?" Was the first thing she said.  
  
"Cole dear, will you please go downstairs and get the baby cradle that Millie was working on this morning?" Phoebe asked so it would get the men out of the way for a while.  
  
"Got it, be right back." He said  
  
"Take your time and have Sam help you bring in the fire wood, too." I replied.  
  
"Men, they don't seem as strong as they appear. Do they?" Mrs. White asked us. We just looked at each other and smiled.  
  
"Now let us see what is the problem? Do you have pain or is it just discomfort?"  
  
"Well, it started out with some pain and then it turned to discomfort." Phoebe answered.  
  
"How long has it been since it started?"  
  
"It started last evening just before dinner, when I got a little upset at someone and I could tell that it wasn't a good idea to be so upset."  
  
"Yes, well you are right there. And you are also right that the babies are getting ready to be born."  
  
"BABIES?" Phoebe and I both said at the same time.  
  
"Did you not know that you are going to have twins? That is why you are so large and uncomfortable dear." Mrs. White said calmly.  
  
"No, I had no idea at all. The other two pregnancies were normal and full term. So I thought that was the reason why I'm so large. It's been only two years since my last was stillborn."  
  
"Yes, yes, that is part of it. Your muscles are not as strong as they once were, and if it had been longer you would be feeling better right now. The more time between pregnancies the stronger you'd be health wise." Mrs. White explained to us. She included me in this conversation and Phoebe seemed to need me.  
  
"May I ask you a question Mrs. White?" When she nodded her head I continued. "Will Phoebe be all right. I mean will her babies be in good health?"  
  
"Yes, they are strong and moving quite a bit? I can tell by the look on your face Phoebe that I'm right." She said.  
  
We just sat there for a while and took it all in. Phoebe had a smile on her face that nobody could wipe away. After about five minutes Mrs. White told Phoebe and I what should be done.  
  
"Phoebe, you should go to bed and stay there for the rest of your time. Then when it gets closer have one of the boys come again and get me. I'll help with the birth." She told us. "Millie, your timing couldn't have been better. You can help by taking most of the household burden off of Phoebe's mind. And for my peace of mind also."  
  
Just then the guys came to the door and knocked. Cole had a look on his face that was so downtrodden, it made you want to go give him a hug and tell him all is well. Which was exactly what I did.  
  
"She's going to be fine. You go in to her and I'll get dinner ready and bring it upstairs." I told him. Then I motioned for Sam to follow me down to the kitchen.  
  
"Is she really going to be ok?" He asked me.  
  
"Yes, and we can help them both by doing what we can to make this time for them easier, don't you think?"  
  
"Yes." Was all he said.  
  
**************  
  
The time passed slowly for Phoebe but not for the rest of us. We kept busy by getting the baby things ready and the house in shape for the arrival of the twins.  
  
Cole and Sam built a new cradle and crib and dresser for the babies. Phoebe and I made new gowns and blankets and diapers. Phoebe called them nappies. I had never seen them before so I didn't know what they were until she told me.  
  
Ma had taught me how to crochet collars for dresses and edges on pillowcases, so I crocheted around the baby blankets and on the sleeves of the gowns. Phoebe was real impressed and it delighted me to do something for her that she would remember me by.  
  
Sam had taken me to town earlier in the week and I picked out some yarn that would fit for either a girl or boy or both and so I started to crochet two baby shawls as a gift. Sam said he would pay for it, if I made them and we could both give them to Cole and Phoebe and the babies when they arrived. I was happy to do it.  
  
In secret I made a pretty nightgown for Phoebe and crocheted around the collar and sleeves. It was of white cotton material that was very thin and sheer. But for someone in bed with babies it didn't matter what it was made of. I've heard it said that women who were with child, were very beautiful no matter what stage they we at.  
  
Cole took it upon himself to redecorate the nursery, and Phoebe was not to know. So when she was down for her afternoon nap, he went into the room with Sam and worked very quietly and fast because it was finished by the time both of the cribs and cradles and dressers were dry from being painted white.  
  
Sam had even painted little ducks and lambs on the drawers of the dressers. It took me by supprise to see that he could be so kind. He didn't seem like the type to do that kind of work. But Sam was supprising me all the time now. He bought the dress for me, he bought the yarn for the babies and he painted the animals on the dressers. I was seeing a different Sam these days.  
  
When I had finished the baby blankets and the gowns, I took them into Phoebe. She was so happy that she started to cry.  
  
"Don't do that, I'll cry too." I said.  
  
"Oh, Millie. How beautiful they are. They will be just right for a boy or girl. So it doesn't matter what I'm having. What workmanship, you are an artist. Thank you so much, I love them."  
  
"You praise me too much. My Ma should get the credit for all this work. She took years teaching me how to do small stitches and not pull too tight on the thread and so on." We both started to laugh. Then Cole came into the room and wanted to know what we were cackeling about.  
  
"Just look at what Millie did on the baby blankets and gowns." Her eyes were swimming with unshed tears.  
  
"I've got an idea, how about I take you into the nursery and you and Millie can put all the baby's things where they belong." He said.  
  
"Oh Cole, could you do that? I would just sit and tell Millie where I would like them to be in the drawers. Couldn't I?" She asked.  
  
"As you wish my dear" Cole said as he scooped her up into his arms and walked to the nursery door.  
  
" Oh" Was all Phoebe could say when we arrived at the door. The nursery was just the most beautiful room in the entire house. The walls were a pale yellow, with little lambs and ducks and dogs and dolls painted all around the room at child level. The work of Sam, I was sure.  
  
" We have been a little busy and have neglected the stock. So, Sam and I are going to take care of them now. I'll be back at noon to take you back to our room." He said as he left us to our work.  
  
By the time we were finished with placing all the babies items in the drawers of the dressers, Phoebe was looking real tired, and that was the time Cole came in to take her back to bed. I ran down to fix lunch for everyone, and took Phoebe and Cole's to them. Then I went into my room and got the baby shawls I had made. As I turned to go out of the room, there stood Sam with two little hand carved chicks. They had also been painted yellow, with orange feet and beaks.  
  
"They are for the twins, and are to go with the blankets you made." He said. I noticed his ears were a little red in color. I suppose that he was slightly embarrassed.  
  
"You are surprising me with all of your talent." I said.  
  
"I loved to draw and paint when I was young, but our dad thought that just girls did that kind of thing. So I didn't let him know I was doing it to sell in town."  
  
"This town? I asked.  
  
"No. Your town."  
  
"What?"  
  
"It's a long story, and I'll tell you sometime soon."  
  
"Why do I have to wait so long to hear this story?" I asked him.  
  
"It takes longer than we have time for right now. I can't do it justice with a short version so I'll tell you later."  
  
"If you say so." Was all I said, with disappointment.  
  
"Oh! Did you paint that picture at the church of the shepherd and the flock of sheep?"  
  
"Yes, I painted it and then I brought it to Mt. Oswego City just about the time your Ma was ill and then passed away. Because your Pa came by the church to set up funeral arrangements for someone which I'm guessing was for your Ma."  
  
"Yes, about three and a half months now."  
  
"That's what I'm thinking."  
  
"It was the prettiest picture I've ever seen. I've not seen many. Your work is breath taking." I had to tell him how it made me feel.  
  
We went on in that mode for some time. It seemed to help Phoebe with coping with the up coming birth and her nerves were settling down too. She wasn't crying all the time. Cole was great help in that department. He knew how to make her relax and enjoy anything and everything. With Sam and I not fighting and bickering, it made me see him in a whole different light. He was kind and thoughtful and he seemed to like me a little better too.  
  
Just before bed Cole came into the Parlor and asked Sam to go get Mrs. White. He said Phoebe was in need of her help and for me to go strait upstairs to her. I ran as fast as I could and when I got to the bedroom door I slowed down. As I walked in Phoebe was getting a fresh gown on.  
  
"Here, let me help you with this gown."  
  
"Thank you. I really need the help. My water broke and it's all over the floor. You will have to clean it up Millie." She was starting go cry and I told her it was no trouble at all. That seemed to make her smile. "I'm so glad you are here with me, I've not had a close friend for a long time and you are a true friend."  
  
"I only had Ma and Pa, so that is as close as I've had to a friend also." I told her.  
  
By the time I had everything cleaned up and ready for Mrs. White, they were back and Cole was at Phoebe's side holding her hand and wiping her forehead with a cold wash cloth. Sam kept the water and the extra blankets warm by the fire in the kitchen. He seemed as nervous as Cole and me.  
  
The night wore on and got later and later. I didn't think Phoebe could go on any longer, but she proved me wrong. She went on into the next day.  
  
"Here's baby number one. Millie, take her to clean her up for her mama and daddy. Then I'm sure number two will be here when you return."  
  
But number two had other ideas. She was a little bit later than Mrs. White thought. It took another four hours and twenty minutes before the next baby arrived. And the best thing about having to wait so long was, Phoebe was rested and ready by the time she was born.  
  
Cole couldn't stop thanking Phoebe and Mrs. White, and they were too busy to hear what he was babbling about. I walked over to him and told him to go tell Sam that he was the proud Papa of two beautiful healthy baby girls. So off he went.  
  
Mrs. White and I got Phoebe ready for a nap and fed her some broth, and left her to sleep for a little while.  
  
It was that evening after dinner that we went back up to the bedroom to see how the new family was doing, when we discovered that Cole had moved the two cribs into their room so he could help with the night time feedings, and such.  
  
"Well now Dears, have you come up with names for these two precious darlings?" Asked Mrs. White.  
  
"Yes. Baby number one is Amanda and Baby number two is Amy, for my Mother and Grandmother." Said Phoebe.  
  
We all got along and were very busy. It was about two weeks after the twins were born when Cole suggested we all go for a ride in the buggy. Sam rode the Palomino, he had ridden the first time I saw him. I sat in the last seat with Amy and Phoebe had Amanda in the front with Cole. We traveled to the cemetery that Sam and I stopped at on our way to Cole and Phoebe's Ranch. I had no clue as to why we were here. I soon found out.  
  
"This is where the first two of our daughters are resting." Phoebe said.  
  
I looked down at the two tiny graves and read the names.  
  
Prudence Turner and the next one said Piper Turner. The dates on both were for the day they were born.  
  
"Now we can go on and raise these two and remember the ones that rest in peace." Cole said.  
  
"We don't need to mourn for them anymore, we can just know that they are safe. And be happy they will be taken care of for all time." Phoebe said softly.  
  
I turned to say something to Sam and he was at another grave. So I walked over to him and looked at what this one said.  
  
Sarah Elisabeth Williams Born 1874 Died 1894  
Baby 1894  
  
I just started to cry. Sam turned just then and gave me a look that said he wished I wasn't there. So I turned and ran as fast and far as I could go.  
  
When I couldn't go any further I sat down where I was and cried for Sam's wife and baby and Ma and Pa and me. I felt all alone and sad, and miserable. 


End file.
